Okay, I'm going to backpedal a bit. I have two Papas. One is my grandfather and one is my birth father who I met when I was 25. My grandfather is Filipino while my birth father is Italian. Confusing no? Well, it was for me too, for a while. Until one day I realized how blessed I truly am. I have two fathers -- with different accents when saying Papa.
The thing that really amazes me is they are not that different in spite of the cultural differences.
They are both very hardworking. And I am very proud of both of them. They are also both very diligent. They studied hard even when the odds were stacked against them. I just realized I have two Papas who are both rich in spirit. And they are both very wise. They have taught me what it means to love in different ways.
My Grandpa Teo was my first Papa. The one who took care of me since I was little and fought my battles for me when I needed him. I was blessed to have him in my life and even now that he's gone I am still being blessed. My Grandma Maria is still with me and she tells me funny stories about Grandpa Teo when I'm not taking over the conversation, as I'm wont to do. Yep, I'm talkative. But this isn't about me.
My Papa -- his name is PierFrancesco -- is a kind man. I met him when I was 25, as I mentioned earlier but the thing is I have not seen him since his first visit and I miss him so much. Yes, I cry in church when I pray to God to bring back my Papa. I'm not embarrassed about those tears anymore because I know they are healing me.
Losing my Mama Macring at 27 was a horrible experience. I know most people would say some people have gone through worse but I bet you can't find anyone who doesn't miss their mama no matter what age they lost them. It's difficult talking about her these days because I realize that I should really let go and let God. It's been 7 years since we lost her and I still hesitate to speak about her with my Papa Peter.
I realize that after all these years, I have been selfish. I never really asked about Papa from Mama. I don't know why. Maybe I was too embarrassed or maybe I was just too comfortable with my life to ask about him and their life together.
It's like reliving that moment with Mama, except there was no more pain. It's just fun!
It's funny cuz I never really bonded with my Papa when he was here. But without me know it, my Mama was taking me to the places where they used to live and stay when they were together. I learned so much from my Mama and Papa although for the life of me I can't find a picture of the three of us together. I'm still hoping we'll meet in heaven. They say it's the place where true happiness and dreams come true. And I am so looking forward to that moment. But for now I am loving learning about life from my Papa, even if it's just over the phone. Good thing my Grandma is here to confirm the stories. It's true, my Grandpa approved of Papa and even told him that he will accept him as his son-in-law. And my Papa calls Grandma Mama Maria. It's so cool! :)
Anyway, I would love to go back to Luzon one day and visit those places again... Tagaytay, San Fernando, Clark Air Base, Subic, Manila and see some new places too like Ocean Park. It keeps popping into my brain and I've gotten into the habit of calling Coffee Bean > Ocean Park. Don't ask me why. Hihihi.
And I would love to see the mall of Asia and go back to Enchanted Kingdom and visit my Mommy Carmen in Cavite (one of my godmothers). Mostly, I just want to visit the places where Mama and I used to go. Maybe someday next year my Papa will come back and he can show me where they lived in San Fernando and where they used to go out dancing. They love to dance, my Mama and Papa. And so do I. We all love music. Mama loves Latin music. My Papa likes some of the music that I listen to. I need to ask him what his favorite is. I love R&B and Hip Hop and some Pop Rock but I also like all sorts of music. I'm not a good dancer but I love to sing and dance anyway although I am shy.
I'm just amazed at how this journey called life is getting interesting by the minute. Sure I've had my ups and downs but doing my thing with the people I love just standing by and supporting me silently with their love makes life so awesome. My family and friends are awesome and we all love to travel. I just got waylaid for a while but now I'm raring to go zoooooooom! Must be the reason why I'm racing around. I'd love to fly one day soon. Off to Manila perhaps? I sure would love to travel with my Papa all over the Philippines. That's for sure! And it would be amazing if we could travel together to Italy. Again, wishful thinking but who knows?
Right now I love my life. There's very little pressure and my work is slowly falling into place. It's like a shower of flowers that are falling right into my lap and I never even realized that all I really had to do was wait a little. Our business is still small, we're starting to get a few more clients and that's awesome. I like working freelance. But that's another story. I guess all that's missing now is a family of my own. But then, I think this is the time to wait.
And so as another week begins, I hope that the hugs and kisses never stop flowing. I'm sure we'll never run out of them anyway! I thank God for my family and friends each day and I pray that we will all be blessed with such amazing people in our lives. :)
